Sometimes I fear that I will get found out, not that I am trying to hide
anything but because people expect things of you and are more than often
blissfully unaware of the chaos that goes on inside my mind to deliver
something in a calm and methodical way. I think I have a pretty good grip on
the inner workings of my brain, I have spent time devoted to the study of its
processes and idiocentricities, not the brain in general I hasten to add this study is not biological but merely a
process of trial and inevitable and amusing error that has taught me to respect
my failings and where possible use them to make me balanced. Im sure that most
people would see it as a bad thing that I closely felt a kindred spirit in the
latest portrayal of Eric Banner and The Hulk in the film ‘Avengers Assemble’ –
“my secret is, im always angry”, that’s me all over a walking ball of rage who
for the most part manages not to be green. Much to most people who have to
spend time with me’s dismay I have no desire to quel this anger or maybe just a
fear of what I would be left with if I did. The fire in my belly is what drives
me its what lets me take on situations that could or should knock me to my
knees and in a very Darwinian sense it makes me a strong predator who will
hopefully not be eaten anytime soon, the occasional red mist that creates a
more frightening beast is the downside to my attempts to being a respected
leader and a person commanding of respect. I work to very small margins of
error and walking close and falling short is to me completely intollerably
fustrating which is how I devote so much energy to staying on the right side of
that line and sedating my own fustrations. I guess what it blls down too is a
trade off that I have made with myself that I am odviously not ready to take
any more steps forward with, when things are going seriously wrong or I am in a
time that others would see as chaotic infuriating and frantic I can be as calm
as a hindu cow and do my best to instill that calm in the minds of others but outside
of that world the small things can really set me off. I love the small things,
they are the details that give this world its individuality and its beauty so
yes I let the small things get to me and react in a very destructive and
aggressive manner but that is because I want the details to be right and
because of that I can deal with most big problems that life can create with a
clear head and a focused approach. For those who have seen or felt the effects
of my temper I apologise and for my twisted views on he power of ego and
evolutionary dominance I make no apologies but don’t expect anybody to take
these ramblings on themselves but hope you understand that they make my life an
easier place to be.
I suppose its one of the true ironies of life that very few of the things
you strive for or want end up being anything like you expected they would and
more often than notend up being more trouble than you thought they would be
worth. It’s all tied up in our intrinsic greed and lack of satisfaction with
life as a whole or maybe to be more positive it is the thing that keeps us
driving on rather than ever rregressing or being too happy with what we have
and becoming lazy. You see I always thought that I wanted to be taken
seriously, to feel that my opinions matter but as soon as this becomes a
reality you walk into a mindfield of doubt and insecurities and even when your
ideas turn out well and others seem to be inspired by them you start to wonder
if they came from a good place or if you were guided heavily by a series of
strokes of luck that are very soon surely going to run out. This of course can
all be attributed to perfectly normal human parnoia but that of course could be
seen as a constructed coping mechanisms to dampen our fears that we are all
mainly in well over our heads. I’ve never taken things too seriously, I think
it’s unhealthy, time consuming and worringly dull
I am lucky enough to be given the opportunity every day to do something
that I know in my heart is the best I can do it right now, im not bragging
about my success I am only wishing and hoping that everybody has that
opportunity. I am counting my blessings and hoping that everybody gets the
chance to step up to the play and have their chance to bat whatever the results
may be. Don’t get me wrong I don’t for a minute believe that I have “arrived”
as a trusted mentor of mine youst to say, It’s all small victories and all
fully appreciated in my own head and without feeling the need to shout about it
too loudly and if I do then taking care to only deliver my happiness in a way
that welcomes other people in rather than isolating them. I wish you all the
best for your lives and hope that all of you are getting the chance to be the
wonderful, interesting and dynamic people that I know you all. Now i have been
given my fair share of opportunity well infact I feel I have been given quite a
few peoples fair share but i hope I wont be seen as arogant for mentioning
mine, because if by my words I could right the wrong that lifes not fair then I
think my writing would be more widely spread than the blogosphere oddity that
it is. Yes I do believe in luck because I don’t think that all chances are
earned and on many occasions the more deserving is not the recipient of the
prize, but seizing the opportunity or not is a personel strength or failure so
when stepping up to challenge oneself I do it with no fear and with an open
heart because I trust in my own abilitie at that time and feel that the outcome
will take me where I need to go. I know it all sounds very Zen but FUCK it, yes
I do have to use so many cuss words and if you disagre well “that’s just like
your opinion man”.
There was a serious gap in my internet usage with the move in house so
when reconnectiong there has been a barage of new music as I realise how much I
rely on a constatnt stream of newness but with my I-pod freezing up for no
apparent reasons and the musical onslaught brought upon me from my kitchen
companions is unrellentingly gangster rap and aggressive D&B there has not
been enough hours in the day to listen to everything with a suitibaly attentive
ear. I know that I am apparently the boss and could insist on whatever I like
to be played but I also believe in the great motivational power of music and if
that is the sounds tht gee’s them up then who am I to complain, I never want to
be the grumpy and cranky boss who sets the tone and has to have everything his
own way – I will see if I am still saying that after another months R&B
flava’s.
‘Blunderbuss’ by Jack White So Jack finally ditches
the supporting acts and assortment of artists he has released with over the
years and offers us up a solo release although the list of contributing artists
is longer than average but the album does have his stamp all over it. He must
keep himself busy but with such prolific releasing we can only realise that
this is a labour of love and that writing songs is something that is a
compulsion not a chore. He has been heard saying that some of these songs and
others have been kicking around for some time but haven’t seemed appropriate to
produce with any of the other outfits he has performed with, he has a strong
sense of where his music fits and how he wants each side of his very
multi-faceted personality to be perceived. I must admit that although I have
enjoyed his guitar playing and in some part his voice I have never really
trusted Jack White, there is just something about him that deliberately makes
him aloof and distant I guess that could also be described as enigmatic and
mysterious but the cynic in me thinks he could be laughing at us all from his
musical ivory tower. But he does seem to like the blues organ that is one of my
favourite sounds and he uses it well in this sometimes quite joyous album. But
for the most part I find the music a bit slapped together and incoherent, the
man has clearly got a lot of ideas and maybe not enough patcirence. The riffs
are as strong as ever but for a man who went from enigmatic rock saviour to
paying dues to country roots to Bond movie theme songs its hard to feel where
his self lies. For all the bands and intrigue what we really want is jack white
behind a Gretsch guitar laying down riffs that very few musicians can axe up
next too. The music is enjoyable but there is no consistent theme or balance
that stops it from approaching greatness.
‘Boys & Girls’
by Alabama Shakes A&R men and women are loosing their jobs across
record companies across the world, losing out to the self-marketing power of
the internet and the self-fulfilling hype machines that churn out popular
opinion on a minute by minute number crunching machine, one track or one
performance can be all it takes to create a buzz that will spread like wildfire
and become a big boot in a lot of important doors that before would have had to
be bribed open by well-connected industry insiders. When those in the know do
scoop us all it is usually the genius hunters at Rough Trade Records who have
the knack of seeing the best in raw talent and doing the minimal possible in
the way of polishing to deliver a gritty real interpretation of music that
comes from the heart. The sort of band that are hobbled together from the few
appreciators of abstract thought in towns full of old fashioned obstanance, but
towns with a rich musical culture that with a new generation drawing influence
from can make a newish and interesting combination. I do hate the hype machine
though it far too often raises people too high before they really have the
chance to learn what they are about and although the high points in this album
that are being touted with air play and page coverage I think there are holes
in the rest of the album that I’m sure will be filled with time and the small
release of constraints that successful label contribution offers. But being
positive there are moments of spot on blues drops and splitting yelps of vocal
greatness and guitar fuzz that are rarely seen. The hipsters and the scene
setters are tipping there songs to be a highlight of the summer so lets hope
they come over with all guns blazing and have the rock and roll stones to live
up to the hype.
‘…A Wasteland Companion’ by M.Ward
My personal favourite troubadour pixie and guitar genius is back with another
bittersweet offering that manages to fuse his deeply personal and heartfelt
tenderness with his dry wit and uncanny turn of phrase. M.Ward has tapped into
a time and space that remains untouched by others he has his own brand of
shuffling blues rhythm and fingerpicking style that puts him in a league all of
his own. One of the main things that makes me fall for an artist is a turn of
phrase, a way of looking at the world or expressing it that brings new things
to light or puts a smile on my face even when contemplating a situation that
may be seen from the outside as dour or sad, with this music breakups and loneliness
are spun into a web of wonderful words and compelling guitar lines that cheers
up my cold soul. Beautiful ironies are created and stories are spun that speak
of love and tragedy that are like a compelling odyssey that transports you to
another place and the singer has that rare ability to give his story over to
the listener and let them resonate through the passage of your own life and
gives the songs meaning above just appreciation. My sad times have been soothed
by M.Ward’s music and I have set off on road trips on sunny days with his
guitar lines beating in my chest. I doubt that as far as an album he will ever
recapture the magnificence of ‘Transfiguration Of Vincent’ but this as near as
he has been since with a beautiful balance and a comfort in his own being.
‘Bloom’ by Beach House
After a spell of time out of the loop with no new music coming my way and the
waves of the radio and old cd’s keeping my company there can have been no
better welcome back to the world of internet hunting and all the gossip and
excitement that causes searching for the new and wonderful than to be wrapped
in the warm blanket of the sounds created by this group. Luckily for all of us
there has been no departure of style and a group that encapsulates the characteristics
of the dream-pop genre they show how deep, haunting and powerful that idea can
be how eerily atmospheric and uplifting it can sound and how resonant and
consuming their music can feel. With all music it is the small sounds that I grow
to love and without these skilfully engineered building blocks there is
nothing, on a stave the music is simple and possibly insipid but the building
the layers and the quality of the noises that inhabit those crotchets and semi
quavers is what fills the bones to give us a production of approaching epic
proportions.
The sound is grander and slightly more outrospective but
that is the growth that comes with acceptance and the confidence that provides,
the stages get louder and the long cooing echoes of breathy vocal seem even
more appropriate, guitar lines soar a little higher and more complex but it is
the casio bleeps and the swoons of breathy female vocal that are hard to
resist. The sound is dreamy, sparce and fleeting yet rich and warm with a faint
air of darkness with repeated themes singing straight into your unconscious brain.
Seeing this group perform on the last in the present series
of ‘Later with Jools Holland’ was a treat, I love this program and when you see
a band you love on there and the other acts performing that night looking on as
something magical occurs. Paloma Faith the ridiculous trollop that she is
trying to muster some emotional while looking completely ridiculous in a gold
lamme toilet roll holder followed by the simple elegance of Victoria Legrand
singing ‘Other People’ was a priceless show of how much I love being on this
side of the musical appreciation spectrum.
Since the drought there has been a downpour and a season in
the sun that lasted a week, some fantastic music has come my way and I hope to
tell you about it a lot sooner this time because there are some bits you shouldn’t
miss, so until then I bid you a welcome to the summer months and hope that it
can bring smiles to all our faces.
